Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.1.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Searching For Center Finding The Middle Way To Heal From Illness ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://searchingforcenter.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [BLOG](https://searchingforcenter.com/blog/) - [Why We Treat Symptoms Instead of Root Causes](https://searchingforcenter.com/why-we-treat-symptoms-instead-of-root-causes/) - We often say we want to heal at the root, yet most of what we actually do is treat symptoms. I learned this not only through my body, but through my experience in the very spaces that claim to be about healing. Over the years, I’ve been part of many mental health, chronic illness, and - [Dis-ease](https://searchingforcenter.com/dis-ease/) - I am practicing a program called DNRS - Dynamic Neural Retraining System in order to retrain my brain into health. Huh? How could one get healthy by retraining the brain. I will save this for another post. It is worth many hours of writing. In practicing and meditating, I have come to some stark - [Shake It Off- Tension Release Exercises and Trauma](https://searchingforcenter.com/7253-2/) - I have recently been training in coaching programs as well as applied positive psychology. I decided to enter the world of somatic healing even though I had been skeptical of changing the mind with the body. After one session of tension release exercises my doubt changed to acceptance and awe. Yes, a bottom up approach - [Starving For Love??](https://searchingforcenter.com/starving-for-love/) - I have struggled with the way I looked throughout my life. In childhood, I was compared a lot to other girls my age and learned to do the same . I scrutinized my body and face in comparison with those around me leading to self defeating thoughts and ideas about myself. The schema I created - [Reparenting and Brain Retraining](https://searchingforcenter.com/7361-2/) - https://minimalistquotes.com/charles-bukowski-quote-24741/ In trying to heal from illness using brain retraining , there were lots of very important tools that were missing from DNRS , the program I used to heal. Interrupting pathways of illness, to replace and reframe with positive emotions and ideas led me to have to face many traumas in childhood. And, it - [Radical Acceptance and Brain Retraining](https://searchingforcenter.com/radical-acceptance-and-brain-retraining/) - In the past I often saw life through a lens of the earlier times. I recreated familiar events over and over, leading to the same interpersonal dynamics and subsequently the same emotions I was used to. Sometimes good of course, but much of the time I recreated conflict, familiar interpersonal relationships, I remember thinking often, - [Inflammation and Chronic States (Mind and Body)](https://searchingforcenter.com/inflammation-and-chronic-states/) - A traumatic childhood causes inflammation that lasts into adolescence and beyond as well as an overactivation of the immune system. Overactivation of the immune system has been linked to psychiatric disorders including schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety. Elevated levels of hsCRP was linked to sexual abuse, separation trauma, verbal abuse and physical abuse. Stress (trauma) causes the release of inflammation to attack the invader that is threatening , and when the invader is on the outside, ends up attacking the body. - [Changing Direction](https://searchingforcenter.com/changing-direction/) - I found myself lately embodying the stories of the person who got sick. Thoughts I have had since childhood ran across my mind occasionally, letting me know these ideas are still there. They never fully went away, they were just dimmer, and my brain would default to challenge them, seeing things from a more positive - [Which Brain Retraining Program Should You Choose?](https://searchingforcenter.com/which-brain-retraining-program-should-you-choose/) - With the many brain retraining programs available in the market, people find themselves confused as to which can provide for them the most effective way to heal. With a nervous system injury the choice becomes even more difficult. - [Finding Calm In The Stress Response - A TRE Session](https://searchingforcenter.com/tre-and-completing-the-stress-response-cycle/) - I practice trauma release exercises as a way to stay centered an average of 5-10 (sometimes more) sessions a month. For those who do not know what TRE is, I have written about it here. Through seven exercises, a tremor mechanism is activated. This is accessible to all, and a way to down regulate the nervous system. - [Somatic Experiencing - Overcoming Trauma Responses](https://searchingforcenter.com/somatic-experiencing-overcoming-trauma-responses/) - Lately when I have used the word trauma, I have noticed some rolling eyes, deep sighs and words like, "not again." I think it is mainly because the word trauma is misunderstood today. "How can everyone be traumatized, when I grew up during a war and we didn't have this much talk of trauma." This - [Embracing All Parts During The Holiday Season](https://searchingforcenter.com/embracing-all-parts-during-the-holiday-season/) - A few years ago I was walking around my neighborhood filled with Christmas lights. I stopped at a house I always admired and just observed the scene in front of me. My mind replayed Christmas Eve festivities as a child. Every year my family gathered, cooked a huge meal of fish, pasta, and of course - [Somatic Versus Cognitive Memories: The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets](https://searchingforcenter.com/somatic-versus-cognitive-memories-the-body-remembers-what-the-mind-forgets/) - When we think of memory, we usually imagine the stories we can tell: what happened, who was there, how old we were. These are cognitive memories — the kind we consciously recall. But there’s another kind of memory that often goes unnoticed: somatic memory. This is the body’s memory, carried not in words but in - [Whenever You're Ready- Honoring and Working With Resistance](https://searchingforcenter.com/whenever-youre-ready-honoring-and-working-with-resistance-2/) - When the body resists change, it isn't failure, it's wisdom. My main focus in healing different chronic health issues was for awhile Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS), but as I have written in this blog, it became clear I needed to address trauma. I began to integrate other approaches like Somatic Experiencing . Unlike DNRS, - [Misconceptions About Brain Retraining Part 2](https://searchingforcenter.com/misconceptions-about-brain-retraining-part-2/) - Previously, I have written about brain retraining and some misconceptions found in the brain retraining community that I have witnessed here. There are more misconceptions, however in this blog I will only address one more. This may be an ongoing topic. Please remember this is my opinion. I am not a doctor, and everything I - [Somatic Tracking and Brain Retraining](https://searchingforcenter.com/somatic-tracking-and-brain-retraining/) - Somatic tracking is an important part of retraining for chronic illness and mental health. Researchers have found that mindfulness shrinks the amygdala and grows the medial prefrontal cortex. You can read more about that here. Brain retraining aims to calm the amygdala, to regulate the nervous system and help the body heal from the effects of dysregulation. So, as long as the person is able to pay attention to the symptoms without hyper focusing on them, this practice in my opinion is necessary. - [The Missing Link- How Spravato Helped Me Go Deeper in DNRS And Somatic Expriencing](https://searchingforcenter.com/the-missing-link-how-spravato-helped-me-go-deeper-in-dnrs-and-somatic-expriencing/) - For years, DNRS was the foundation of my healing, and in many ways it carried me out of some of the darkest periods of my life. It gave me a sense of direction when I had none, and the repetition helped me interrupt cycles that once felt automatic and uncontrollable. I saw genuine improvements, sometimes - [A Somatic Experiencing Exercise Using The Mouth](https://searchingforcenter.com/a-somatic-experiencing-exercise-using-the-mouth/) - Beginner-friendly, with freedom to track the whole body. Background: The mouth can hold a great deal of unfinished survival response, such as biting, clenching, vocalizing, suppressing sound, or bracing. These responses are not psychological habits, but physiological actions that were once adaptive and did not have the opportunity to complete. Because the mouth is deeply - [When the Holidays Live In the Body- Somatic Experiencing, Holidays and Choosing Safety](https://searchingforcenter.com/when-the-holidays-live-in-the-body-somatic-experiencing-holidays-and-choosing-safety/) - The holidays are often described as a season of joy, closeness, and belonging. For me, they arrived differently. They arrived first in my body,as a tightening, a heaviness, a familiar sense of bracing, long before I consciously think it’s that time of year again. From a Somatic Experiencing (SE) perspective, this makes sense. The nervous - [Moving Through Waves- A Somatic Experience During Spravato](https://searchingforcenter.com/moving-through-waves-a-somatic-experience-during-spravato/) - My work with Somatic Experiencing taught me how to follow subtle movements in my body, track small impulses, and allow sensations to unfold without forcing anything. I was comfortable with that process in sessions both alone and with a facilitator, where movement arises naturally and I stay aware enough to follow it. You can read - [Continuing The Journey- Psychedelics And Healing](https://searchingforcenter.com/continuing-the-journey-psychedelics-and-healing/) - In the past few months I have found myself thinking of returning to Peru to participate in more Ayahuasca ceremonies. I first experienced Ayahuasca in 2018 and write about my experience here. It was very difficult, however helped me in many ways. Knowing the power of psychedelics, I find myself thinking of how "I could - [Is Brain Retraining Enough to Heal Chronic Illness?](https://searchingforcenter.com/why-brain-retraining-may-not-be-enough-to-heal-chronic-illness-and-what-can-help/) - As I have spoken about in this blog, I used Dynamic Neural Retraining System to help me heal from chronic illness. While doing the practices, I basked in positive emotions and felt genuinely happy and at peace each time I did them. I watched as my nervous system began to settle while beginning what DNRS - [The Body Speaks- A Session in Somatic Experiencing](https://searchingforcenter.com/the-body-speaks-a-session-in-somatic-experiencing/) - I recently wrote about healing trauma by using somatic experiencing here. To give an example of somatic experiencing and how it works I spoke about a time my body began involuntary shaking. When this occurs it’s become clear to me that traumas have been given a “ permission” to surface. It had calmed for a bit - [Healing Trauma: Somatic Experiencing Example and Resource](https://searchingforcenter.com/healing-trauma-somatic-experiencing-example-and-resource/) - Somatic experiencing, developed by Peter Levine works with the body in the healing of trauma. After a traumatic event, even though the stressor is gone, the body can continue to stay in the stress response. Cortisol may continue being produced as if the event is still occurring, changing the physiology of the body. You can - [Mental Health Through The Lens Of Polyvagal Theory.](https://searchingforcenter.com/mental-health-through-the-lens-of-polyvagal-theory/) - In the past mental health issues have been attributed to a “chemical imbalance.” Researchers suggested that neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine and variations of these chemicals in the brain could lead to issues like depression, anxiety and other “disorders.” Today, most would refute this claim. While there may be an imbalance of neurotransmitters, this doesn’t - [3 Tips To Consider When Beginning A Brain Retraining Program](https://searchingforcenter.com/3-tips-to-consider-when-beginning-a-brain-retraining-program/) - If you have decided to help your nervous system heal from dysregulation by purchasing one of the various programs, hiring a coach to help you one on one, or attempting to put different practices together on your own, I offer you a few tips that can benefit you during your journey. 1. Go at your - [Embodying The "Fuck It" - Spontaneous Healing In Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/embodying-the-fuck-it-spontaneous-healing-in-illness/) - I recently had someone email me asking me for guidance. She asked for email coaching and described her situation. After working very hard at retraining (for chronic illness) for years and going very slowly, exposing herself to her “triggers” in slow, incremental stages, she did the opposite. She decided to “revv” herself up so much - [Chronic Illness and Childhood Trauma](https://searchingforcenter.com/chronic-illness-trauma/) - For a good portion of my life I lived in trauma. I was no longer experiencing this childhood trauma, but I very much made my home there. The way I saw the world, the way I participated in it, the way I attracted to me the very same kind of "trauma" over and over again - [A Heightened State of Awareness With Brain Retraining](https://searchingforcenter.com/a-heightened-state-of-awareness-with-brain-retraining/) - A Heightened State of Awareness With Brain Retraining I recently read this post in a neural retraining group I am in that I deeply resonated with. "I've been working a lot on relieving stress and trauma. I no longer get stressed (at all), I no longer get angry, no anxiety, etc. It's all gone. I think my limbic system is calmed, HOWEVER now - [The Wonder Of A Pen - Awakening From Limbic System Malfunctioning](https://searchingforcenter.com/awe-awakening-limbic-system-malfunctioning/) - This morning as I was writing , I looked down at my pen and remembered something. It has been really important for me to remember aspects of my past because of the lessons I had learned it it. But, I am human and humans often forget. I remembered when I returned to Staples after a - [Ayahuasca - The Point Of No Return](https://searchingforcenter.com/ayahuasca-the-point-of-no-return/) - In August of 2018, I went to Peru to join a retreat that would include 4 ceremonies of ayahuasca, and other medicinal rituals. Ayahuasca is a South American psychedelic used as a spiritual medicine. I had found my host center in an ayahuasca group after posting about how desperate I was . I had thought - [What Is A POP In Brain Retraining? - Changing Pathways Of The Past](https://searchingforcenter.com/what-is-a-pop-in-brain-retraining-changing-pathways-of-the-past/) - The term POPS or pathways of the past is one I encountered in DNRS (Dynamic Neural Retraining System) when retraining my brain for regulation and health. It is any old way of negatively thinking or behaving and thus feeling. For example,one of my old POPS is, "I can't do it ", this way of thinking - [Ho'Oponopono- The Beginning of My Retraining Journey](https://searchingforcenter.com/hooponopono-the-beginning-of-my-retraining-journey/) - Ho'Oponopono is a Hawaiian healing system that was used in the Kahuna community to resolve conflicts between members. Modern Ho'Oponopono was brought to our awareness by a psychologist in Hawaii named Dr Hew Len, who healed an entire insane asylum i Hawaii by practicing this system. - [You Have To Feel It To Heal It- What Neural Retraining May Be Missing.](https://searchingforcenter.com/you-have-to-feel-it-to-heal-it-what-neural-retraining-may-be-missing/) - Around April of 2020 I sat in a park under a tree, overlooking a lake, completely in awe at the world around me. I could feel the bark of the tree etched alongside my spine, as I watched the sun’s rays hit the lake eliciting colors I had never seen before. Who knew that there - [Brain Retraining And Chronic Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/dynamic-neural-retraining-system-healing/) - I have spent a small fortune trying to get better both before and after diagnosis of my chronic illnesses. I have seen dozens of doctors both western and alternative. My diet changed drastically, lifestyle was forced to change, work stopped. Everything I have done after diagnosis and some before got me to a certain point - [Becoming My Own Doctor With Chronic Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/becoming-doctor-chronic-illness/) - For the past two days I have watched myself falling back into old patterns of illness. Old thoughts, old coping mechanisms, old neural pathways trying to come back. And for two days they did. I sat in my bed, unable to move much , except to go eat, and flew away in thought. I was - [Yes, My Illness Is In My Head](https://searchingforcenter.com/yes-illness-head/) - After searching for so long as to what could be causing such havoc in my body, I am ready to say that doctors were right! The illnesses I have are in my head. But where in my head? Are they physically in my brain or as psychiatrists would say in my "sick mind." One psychiatrist - [Limbo - In Between Chronic Illness and Health.](https://searchingforcenter.com/limbo-chronic-illness-health/) - In January of 2018 I had a vision. I was falling to the floor, with things falling off off me. Melting into the ground, until there was nothing left. But something would spring up out of that nothingness. I knew that. Somehow. I also knew I was dying. Somehow. It was fine. I didn't feel - [PTSD AND CHRONIC ILLNESS - SURVIVAL STATES I AM LEAVING](https://searchingforcenter.com/ptsd-chronic-illness-survival-states-leaving/) - I consider myself 85% healed from chronic illness, lyme disease, chronic inflammatory response syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, postural tachycardia syndrome, multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue syndrome. I am also having an easier time with benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome. I have written about how I am sure benzodiazepines were the physical trigger to my illnesses here. - [What Is Recovery?](https://searchingforcenter.com/what-is-recovery/) - The other day I saw a question asked in a brain retraining group on facebook. It was a question I had asked also many times as I was retraining (still do, just not as much). The question was "What is your definition of "healed?" Does it mean a healed person can do anything a normal - [The Limbic System And Mental Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/limbic-system-mental-illness/) - After my perfect storm, (a term that neural retrainers use to describe the situations that led to chronic issues becoming unmanageable), I wanted to believe that maybe all my problems, all the emotional dysregulation I had faced through life, had been the result of some physical issue that I was being diagnosed with such as - [MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT BRAIN RETRAINING](https://searchingforcenter.com/misconceptions-about-brain-retraining/) - There are many misconceptions I have seen about neural retraining, but for the purpose of this blog I have decided to address only two. The programs do help to change the brain, but do not come with much help unless one hires a coach. - [What Chronic Illness Taught Me](https://searchingforcenter.com/chronic-illness-taught/) - I love air. I love the taste of air, It is always there, even when I get punched in the stomach,lose it for a few seconds, waiting for me to find it. I love the feel of it on my cheeks. I love the way it runs through my hair. I love opening my door - [The Disappearing Sun - Meditation and Chronic Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/disappearing-sun-meditation-chronic-illness/) - I met someone a few weeks ago who shared how she was recovering from Lyme Disease and CIRS. She gave me the name of a meditation center that she goes to at least 30 hours a week. Realizing there was more to chronic conditions than what doctors could help her with she found meditation (sometimes - [Emergencies - What Led To My Chronic State](https://searchingforcenter.com/emergencies-led-chronic-state/) - I have been an emergency since the day I was born. My grandmother used to enjoy telling the story of the day my mother wanted to throw me out the window. I was a newborn infant who apparently wouldn't stop crying. She couldn't handle you. You cried so much . You put her through such - [Benzodiazepines and Chronic Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/benzodiazepines-chronic-illness/) - I have had to do a lot of investigating since I became ill, investigating that doctors will not do and possibly do not know how to. When my doctor introduced me to dynamic neural retraining system , I was resistant at first. Another rabbit hole to go down, I thought. I was only safe in - [HEAL By Taking In the Good](https://searchingforcenter.com/heal-taking-good/) - I recently participated in Rick Hanson's Positive Neuroplasticity Training and The Professional Course in Positive Neuroplasticity. In these courses, he refers to "Taking In the Good", a practice which he calls HEAL. I also implemented in my own brain retraining. Brain retraining programs for chronic states of being, all have this practice of bringing to - [The Hero's Journey](https://searchingforcenter.com/the-heros-journey/) - In the past few years, I found myself on a journey. I was called to this adventure of healing and meeting the authentic, healthy version of myself . But before I could do that, I had several battles to conquer. And the prize was watching the life I knew being completely destroyed. This journey was - [You Can Run, But You Can't Hide](https://searchingforcenter.com/can-run-cant-hide/) - I spent much of my life running. I ran 8 miles, sometimes 14 a day . The euphoria and calm that came from running such distances can only be understood by other runners. I could start in a terrible mood, seeing the world as dark and dreary and end with clarity and bliss. I have - [HEAL : Retraining Practice For The Limbic System](https://searchingforcenter.com/heal-retraining-practice-limbic-system/) - I primarily used the dynamic neural retraining system to heal many diagnosis of chronic illness as well as emotional dysregulation from trauma. I came to understand DNRS as a structure which I could adapt for myself . I also used many other practices which began to make sense for me as I progressed further into - [Quieting Saboteurs](https://searchingforcenter.com/quieting-my-saboteurs/) - I have been training in another coaching program with Coach Shirzad Charmine called Positive Intelligence. He speaks of the internal saboteurs , what I have come to understand as created by the inner child, and on a scientific level the limbic portion of my brain holding all the emotions, thoughts, patterns created during times of - [Resurrection- Grief While Retraining Out Of Illness](https://searchingforcenter.com/7290-2/) - A friend recently asked me, " Hey, when you were healing, did you have moments when it felt like you were in a world that had left you behind, from years of not being well? Feels like being released from prison into a world you can't relate to." I knew in reading this, exactly what - [Healing and Creating Boundaries](https://searchingforcenter.com/healing-and-creating-boundaries/) - This afternoon I was running home from the gym, and it began to rain heavily. I saw a bus across the street that I could take a few feet from the stop, stopped at a red light. I waved to the driver, asking if he could let me on . He waved for me to - [BRAIN RETRAINING STRATEGIES FOR CHRONIC STATES](https://searchingforcenter.com/brain-retraining-strategies-for-chronic-states/) - A list of practices to help get you started in brain retraining for any kind of chronic state. ## Pages - [](https://searchingforcenter.com/) - Please join our Newsletter - [Contact Me](https://searchingforcenter.com/contact-us/) - Contact Me Have something to share? Send me a message! 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